When your two-year-old is disobeying and your three month old just wants to nurse, so you’re kinda stuck on the couch and having to use your words rather than physically pick your child up and move him away from whatever he’s getting into… and all this is happening in a house that is impossibly cluttered with toys and with your old clothes from a halfway-cleaned-out closet that miraculously happened (halfway) while both boys napped that one day last week… and dishes are in the sink… It can feel hard.
So, you Google. Once the toddler is sleeping and you’re once again nursing your infant, you Google “when does parenting get easier?”
Well, at least that’s what I did. Today. Twenty minutes ago.
And trusty Google gave me all kinds of answers, via mommy chat rooms and blogs and parenting web sites. I took it all in, from opinions about how it’s easy sailing once kids hit five, or how adolescence is awful, or how teenagers are crazy but some were relieved that they could find time for themselves again.
Then I had an epiphany. I decided I should definitely use my cherished toddler/baby nap time to record it.
Here it is: “Why did I have kids?”
No, I don’t actually mean it like it may sound. I mean, really, why?
I had so much independence before. I could sleep until ten. I could go on a jaunt to Target and stay for three hours without depositing Goldfish into someone’s mouth in exchange for five more minutes.
We could decide to go on a trip or a concert at the last minute, and all we had to do was plan the hotel reservations or get the best seats. No packing up an entire mini nursery. No child care needed. No missing little giggles while we’re away.
I was 30 when my first son was born. That’s a whole lot of independent years. I had gotten used to doing my own thing.
Of course, I have two grandmas waiting in the wings if I ever decide I need three solo hours at Target (and I do. Thank you, grandmas!) But you get what I mean, right?
Anyway, I’ll tell you why we decided to have our first. We had been married almost five years and that was our plan. We were ready to start a family. So we tried, and praise the Lord it worked.
Then we had him and OH MY GOODNESS, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
If you haven’t had kids yet, that whole thing about the love, the life-altering love that makes you want to hug them tight and soak it up forever – it’s a real thing. And I think God gave it to us for many deep and meaningful reasons, one of which was to outweigh the “hard.”
If you haven’t had kids yet, that whole thing about how hard it is- that’s true, too. But God gave us the love to overcome the hard. And it does.
So we had another one. And OH MY GOODNESS the love happened again! He’s over in his swing snoring right now, and I’m telling you it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Now we have two! Two miraculous, tiny humans!
So, why would I want to rush this precious life, these little people God has given me? Why would I want to scoot them along through their various “hard” stages in hopes of an easy life all to myself?
Next time I Google, I hope this blog comes up. And not just because that means I have good search engine optimization. 🙂
I want to remind myself that life is short. Childhood is shorter. These are the blessings God has given me. My husband, my kids, my home.
And I should do nothing but cherish this stage, whichever one we’re in, right here and now.
And give them hugs. Sniff.
Now I better get back to those dishes.